I am who I am and people can take it one way or another... but at least I'm living honestly.

-Lim

I love my LEADERSHIP class

I can honestly say that the best memories I'm going to have from high school is being in the advanced bruin leadership class. It's been such a privilege to be a part of this class for 2 years and yes, no one will ever understand why we do what we do. No matter how much I've tried to explain it to people, no one really gets it. Except for people who are in the class who understand the stress that we've been through. But it's all been worth it!

It's going to be sad to leave, but I know that I'm going to be leaving and taking everything that I've learned along with me.

-Lim

Looks aren't everything..

... sure we say that, but deep down we all know that your appearance is important. We're all consumed in wanting to look good 24/7. Getting caught up in the latest fashion, and what's "in". I miss the saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Beauty is blinded to what society had molded to what the standards of beauty is. Your toughest critic is yourself when it comes to staring into that mirror. I'm guilty of waking up in the mirror and the first thing I say is, ugh I have a lot of work to do before going out. It takes me at least an hour to get ready and get out of my house to do anything.. I feel so self-conscious with out make up, but having it there is like my safety mask of letting the world know what I really look like.

I work in a retail store with bright lights and mirrors everywhere.. and I honestly think that I only got hired for the way I look. I had a group interview and I saw how the other girls dressed, had their hair and make up done and thought well I look like I would be able to work here, no offense to the other girls and once I got the call and saw that the other girl weren't there, I knew that I was right.

I've spent years trying to perfect how I'm portrayed by others. It's sad to say but I know that I'm the kind of girl that people know of as the girl who loves her make up, hair and clothes more than anything else. But is it bad to think that there's nothing wrong with wanting to look good? I feel like I'm so caught up, I'm tryna stop and see the beauty in other things too.

-Lim

"I'm the kind of girl who doesn't say much.

Sometimes, I don't know what to say at all,

but when I do say something,

I mean every word.

I don't want to be like every other teenage girl.

I want to be remembered

and I want my voice to make a difference in someone else's life."

-Lim

ONE YEAR

TO BRYCE NOEL JACKSON;

Thank you for showing me what true love is. Thank you for teaching me that you can't always get what you want without a fight. Thank you for holding my hand when I needed you the most. Thank you for being the boy who makes me believe. Most importantly thank you for proving your love to me, even when I didn't deserve it.. you've been my rock holding me down. The one thing that keeps me sane. Since day one, it was always me and you.. and even through everything we've had to endure in our relationship, you've always been the one. Even to this day you still give me butterflies. There's never been anyone one else and there can never be anyone else that can hold my heart like you do. I will always love you, that's a promise. 032509

"The best you can do is the right thing, the second best thing you can do is wrong thing, and the worst you can do is nothing."

Don't hold back.

I've learned that when you need to cry, just cry. Don't hold back tears because thats unhealthy to do.. the more you hold it back than the inevitable of breaking down comes even harder. If your heart is breaking, than let it break and give it time to heal. You can't play off a broken heart, trust me I've tried. The more you do it, the more it aches. Time is of the essence to healing.. and that's the remedy that I need right now.

-Lim

"Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon."

My so-called epiphany..

I need to take a few steps back, breath, and just live in the moment. My life has just been so fast paced this past year that I feel kind of at a lost. I've always said that I'd rather live this way, rather than wasting my time, not doing anything at all, and not getting anywhere. But is it possible to reach a point where you've taken things a little bit too far and moving too fast?.. That's kind of how I'm feeling right now. I just needs to slow things down and enjoy myself.. I feel like I deserve that because honestly, when I think about I don't even remember the last time I was selfish and put myself first. I think it's about that time.

I've always been a strong-willed girl with high morals and standards on just about everything. Maybe it's the way I was raised, but that's not a bad thing. It's just taught me to always dream big and never settle for anything less. The best of what I can get was always what I got or what I'm wanting. Some people would disagree with me and say why not be grateful for what you have now? My response would simply be, "IF I CAN GO HIGHER WHY NOT?" So that's what I'm going to do now. I've gone through a lot to be the person I am today and have worked a hell of a lot harder than most of my peers to be where I am. Nothings going to stop me now since nothing has ever stopped me before.

-Lim

.. as much as you want it to be.. but I still believe you should always at least try to give your all in everything that you do.. even if it seems like it'll be pointless at the time, it might be worth the try.

-Lim

It's just not right how true that is..

-Lim

My promise for the rest of the school year,

TO JUST NOT SKIP! Today I had successfully went to all my classes, and today just felt soo long. But I promised myself that I'm going to endure the next 3 months and just make it through the rest of high school. So far I'm failing my evcc english class :( mostly because of skipping, and I just have a bunch of things to make up.. which I am starting to do tomorrow on a few of them. English has never really been one of my strongest subjects to begin with anyways. Don't get me wrong I love reading and writing, but when it comes to the grading of it all, I feel like my brain is just at a lost and I'm not comprehending anything that's going on. I just hate the grading structure period! It needs to change.

-Lim

"you shouldn't worry about what they say, they got nothing on you baby.. "

Insomnia @ 1 am

It's a school night and I just had the sudden urge to just get up.. I'm not even sure why. This is the first time I've done in months actually. I know that by doing this tonight it's defiantly going to throw me off at school tomorrow. I feel like I've been doing bad at school right now just because there are so many other things going on my mind.. hmph, I REALLY need to get focused. I've been promising myself to keep on track and I'm going to keep it.

Graduation is less than 3 months away! I can't wait to just get my diploma and be out. Enjoy my summer days and nights than go to edcc for the fall quarter! I'm going to be successful and there's nothing that's going to to get in my way. I've go a lot of things going for me and I'm not taking any of it for granted.

-Lim

LAST YEAR FROM JR TP NIGHT!

Oh how I miss this night, and year. It seems so long ago but it wasn't. It's crazy to think how fast the days have gone by and how things have changed.

Happiness lies for those who cry,

those who hurt,

those who have searched

and those who have tried

for only they can appreciate the importance of people

who have touched their lives.

Laying on your chest than looking up to see you looking back at me, lock eyes and you tell me that you love me.. that's one of the moments when I fall for you all over again.

When your heart breaks, you'd think there would be a loud crack just crumbling until it can't break anymore.. but it doesn't..instead your heart breaks in silence, only for you to deal with the pain.. But breaking in silence can be a good thing, right?..Only after it breaks than you know that you need to be the one to pick up the pieces and put it back together because in all honesty you are the only one to own your heart.
-Lim

People always leave.. ?

I've been trying to hold my head up high for the past few days and not let anything phase me. I've been that girl who's been able to be do her own thing and handle things on her own. I feel like I've been more dependent on people this year.. I'm not saying that it's bad thing, it's just odd to go from doing things on your own to needing someone to be there.. vulnerability.. that's what happened to me once I let my guard down and finally let people see my heart. I'd kept it locked in for so long that I forgot what it was like to just let people in and to not always be scared.

I guess not everyone leaves you.. but at the same time, people can walk out of your life and leave as they please. It's those who choose to turn around and stay are the one's that you need in your life..

-Lim

"Forgiveness is the greatest kind of love.."

Every relationship has its up and downs.. and we've reached a complete low. I don't understand lying.. there's no reason for it to be okay.. I don't understand how you can act like you don't care. When I can't get my tears to stop falling. How I still feel like I'm fighting alone.. when it takes two. I'm the kind of girl who doesn't cry over boys.. but here I am crying to my friends who have wiped my tears away multiple times through out the day, telling me how I should just forget about you. But I already know I can't.. as dumb as it sounds, letting go would hurt even more than I do as of now.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." -Dr. Suess

My hearts been aching not for the fact that we might be done, but for the fact that I'm going to lose him not as my boyfriend, but my bestfriend, my better half..

Learning..

I've learned that in order to love, you have to feel pain. In order to fully trust, you have to lost it first or to even feel whole, to know what it's like to be broken. To lose yourself, and to find yourself. Life is pretty funny sometimes. Things can go smooth, then you ht a bumpy road to turn a 180, make you grow up on the spot, even change your perspective on things you thought you would never change. Maybe its naive to think that we live in a world in which everything is "ok" or that things will fall into place without a given fight. I guess that's another things I've learned.. you can't get anything without a fight.. fighting for what you want..fighting for what you believe in, fighting for yourself.. or even another. To give in, give up, or give it your all. 3 choices you can live your life by. To give into the pressure of others. To give up what you believe in or to give everything you have with everything you've got, no matter what it takes. Following your hear is so much harder than it sounds. the times you want to follow your heart, you have to think is it a right choice? When it comes to your hear there shouldn't be a second guess. That's the problem when you don't know how to put your heart first. It's prone to getting broken easier. I'd rather take the risk to getting broken, than not knowing at all. If it doesn't kill me, it'll make me stronger, it might hurt but what's living without the pain? Hmm, you just have to think will it all be worth it in the end?.. or would it have been wasting your time? But than again, you don't to live with the regrets.

-Lim