Fact: I always get my hopes up to only get let down..

Realize;

"Someday everything will all make perfect sense. So for now, laugh through the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself everything happens for a reason."

---

I'm not exactly sure how to feel. If I should let my guard down.. no it's too soon. But does that mean I'm scared? What happened to taking risks?.. It's already too late. I always get so lost and mixed into my emotions that I get closed off. I know it's a bad thing, but I do it anyways.

I'm such a hopeless romantic, its sad.. I don't believe in love like I used to. I've been burned one too many times, I see my homegirls go through almost the exact same thing I've been through.. and it's not right. It's one of those, if I knew what I know back than situations, well it's too late.

Should I just stay in naive bliss?.. it's better than falling too deep and getting your heart broken. If I'm happy just for the moment, than so be it. I'll be content with it. I'm just not ready for the let down.. again. Just thinking about it still hurts. I know that I'm too strong in my pride to let it get to me. All I do is move on. I can keep doing the same thing.

I'll keep a smile on my face because that's all I can do for now. I don't see a point in being sad anymore because that will get you no where.

-Lim

ALREADY TAKEN

Late Night Ramble;

My hearts feels torn.. torn of having to choose between what's right and what I want. Is it wrong to be selfish? Does that make me a bad person? If I'm happy, am I wrong for feeling that way? I'm not so sure anymore. I just want to reach out and see who will be there to grab my hand and stick with me.. people choose to walk away every single day. Sometimes they choose to come back.

I always feel like I'm waiting and wondering.. always wondering if they'll decide to stick around. I understand that everyone has their reasons of leaving and coming back. I'm not perfect, I make mistakes and I wish I could change them, but I can't. That's life and you have to take the consequences that come with it.. even if it means losing something like your pride.. or someone..

.. my mind is way too cluttered to finish this blog, especially since it's 3 in the morning.. I'llgather my thoughts for another blog.

-Lim

My 3rd tattoo on the back of my neck. My grandpa's name ; Chhem Chhum written in cambodian writing. Rest in Peace.. I love you and I miss you. Last week marked his 8 year passing..

Out Of It

Some days I feel like I'm holding on for dear life. Making sure that every moment is real. Trying so hard to just not let it all go. But how do you keep moving forward when your heart feels numb? Prone to the pain.

I don't really have a choice but to keep going. I've learned that the world doesn't stop for anyone. You have to keep moving forward with it.

I feel like I've been screwed over so many times, how do I know what's real? I just don't anymore. I'm never going to understand why people can be so conniving.. why people lie. I guess I miss the innocence of it all. When we all could just play around and the only thing that would hurt is falling and scraping your knee.

The sad thing about this is I know that I'm never going to be able to just open my heart to just anyone. I'd always been guarded.. but I've never felt like I had to put my guard up like this.

I'm just getting tired of feeling hurt.. it's just time to find just follow my own path.

-Lim

I've always guarded my heart..

but I never thought my walls could get any higher until today.

-Lim

Fact: I need a ride or die kinda of guy in my life.

I left my hand and my heart on the dance floor ;

I took a dance class at westlake with my sister tonight and it felt good to just dance again. At first I felt rusty cause it's been awhile but as the class went on, it just felt good. I messed up but just danced like whatever. In that hour, I felt happy and could just be me without a care in the world.

Lately, I've just been feeling frustrated over the most stupidest things.. it's about time I just brush them off and realize that there are bigger things to be fussing over. I need to keep focused and remember all my goals I had set aside so long ago.

It's time to just get back on track.. and do what I do.

-Lim

Fact: I hate crying myself to sleep..

-Lim

"Beautiful girls all over the world,

I could be chasing but my time would be wasted.

They got nothing on you baby,

nothing on you baby.."

-B.O.B.

Throwbacks ;

Lately I've been getting hit with just thinking about the past. I've always been the kind of girl to just forgive, move on.. I never forget, anything. It's easier to but that's just not me. Once I've been hurt in the past, it sticks with me. It's true that I've everything I've gone through has made me the person that I am today.

I've gone through enough to just know better.. Sometimes thats not the case. I feel like I make the same foolish mistakes over and over again.. That needs to change.

I think my heart has gone through enough this past year and its not fair to go through anymore. I just always get the comfort of having someone by my side. I'm looking for something real. I've played the game way too many times, and honestly I'm over it all. It's like I've gone through the same thing so many times that I can guess the next moves right before it happens.

But than again, I always let fear get in the way.. I say I'm ready, but than I fall back and put my guard up again. I need real talk, no games.

-Lim

6 years ago,

... I would've never imagined I would be the person that I am today. I got into a deep conversation with my homegirl about how everything used to be so innocent, compared to how everything is now. How easy it is to be influenced, how easy it is to say yes into temptation. How easy it is to brush everything off.

6 years ago.. that little girl I used to be would be disappointed to know how she has ended up to be. I always say that I'm going to "change." But I always seem to find myself looking at the easy way out. That's just how things have been. I lost who I was for the longest time. Forgeting about my dreams and my goals that I had set so high. All I cared about was just having a good time until the next good time. But now I realize how stupid that was because I had put so much on the line..

I think that little girl I used to be should be happy to know how strong she will be though. How to hold her head up through whatever cirumstance she's been put into. Go through circumstances that nobody should have to go through. Learning to just walk away from things. Picking up her own pieces from having a broken heart. Holding it all together when all she wants to do is fall a part.

I've always said that I've gone through enough to know enough. I'm growing up, and it's about time I get my act together. I know I need to be better, and that's what I'm going to do from now on.

-Lim

2 New Tattoos ; for my bruthaa.

His initials..


Carpe Diem.

R.J.K.Y ; Rest in Paradise

It hasn't even been a week.. and I still can't believe it. I miss you little brutha. I'm never going to understand why you were take away so suddenly. You're the one person who was supposed to stick around.. there was still so much to do. You had so much going for you.

I stayed at your viewing yesterday for almost 7 hours.. yet it didn't even like it was that long. I felt like I could've sat there forever, waitig for you to just get up. Maybe it'll all sink in on the day of your funeral.. but I even doubt that.

I try not to cry because I know that's not what you would want. You would want us to be happy, celebrating your life. But I'm still bitter.. because it's not fair.

I have to just think that God has a bigger plan for you and wanted you early.. I know you didn't feel any pain when you passed.. that makes me feel a little bit better. You're in paradise now, and we'll meet again..

-Lim

Rest In Paradise Russelle Joseph Yap.

"The best things happen when you least expect it."

Vacation Time;

I've been on vacation or the past few days, and I'm going to hate to see it end. I love getting out with my family and just having good times together. It makes me think that everything is so easy..

The feeling of getting away is nice. I said that I was going to try and leave my thoughts at home, but that's impossible. They all seem to just catch up with me. Once I have downtime, my mind just begins to wonder. I hate being the kind of person that over-analyzes things. That's never going to change.

I'm going to make the most of these next few days because it's rare when my family just gets together like this.

-Lim

Days go by,

I'm lovin how chill summer days can be. I'm not looking for any drama, no beef. I like it better when people can be straight up with me. Because all you've ever get from is something straight up.

My hearts gone through too much. And I'm not tryna go through anymore heart ache.. Space, time, and good times is all I'm really looking for this summer. I like being in good company, that it. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

-Lim

I'm going to quit writing letters because the relationships with people in my life keep changing. I'm starting to learn who the real people are in my life..

-Lim

DAY 7 - YOUR EX/BOYRIEND/GIRLFRIEND/CRUSH/LOVE

Thank you for teaching me how to love with a broken heart. Thank you for teaching me how to watch someone walk away after each fight. Thank you for teaching me how to wipe my own tears. Thank for you proving me right about how much pain love can bring.

You were everything to me. And I feel so naive to have fallen so hard and in the end having to pick myself back up. I thought that our love could had with stand anything. It was us against the world.. Everytime there was something that could tear us down, we had proved people wrong by standing strong.. together. People would always tell me the reasons why we didn't belong together and I always chose to shut people out and tell them otherwise. I chose you over my bestfriends and family.. I put a lot of things on hold because of you.

Now when I look you in the eyes.. the eyes I had fallen in love with, the eyes that had made my heart melt.. I no longer feel love. All I feel for you is numbness in my heart. You are no longer the boy I fell in love with. I'm not even sure that I know who you are anymore. You're just another guy putting on a front for the world to see. But I see past it. Because deep down I still know the potential of the person you can be and it makes me kinda sad to see you choose to be someone you're not.

Once again, I'm thanking you for the memories.. and it's because of you that my walls are 10 x's higher. But if you hadn't broken my heart than I wouldn't have been able to find myself again. I regret so much from being with you but from those regrets I know now just to take even more risks. I'm doing me, and I'm happier. I'm in a new relationship with someone who tells me each and everyday of how happy they are to be with me.

By breaking up with me, you did me a great favor. Thank you B.

-Lim

Nothing On Me Official Music Video Pmac featuring JVoQalZ

"Big difference;

between a girl who talks to hella guys,

and a girl that hella guys talk to.."

-Lim

It finally hit me;

I picked up my diploma today it FINALLY hit me that I'm done with high school. I don't why it took me so long. I pulled it out of the envelope, sat in my car for just a moment and realized that I'm just done. 12 years of free education and now I'm onto college. Serious business.

Right now I'm working a lot more at LC, it's nice to be getting a lot of hours but my summer is gone. I'm taking a week off to go to Idaho with my family. It's going to be nice to get away from this crappy Washington weather. But I already know that coming back is going to be hard.

I'm still on a job hunt for a second job or maybe an even better one. But we'll see, I'm just glad that I at least got a job. I need the money. My shopaholic tendency needs to stop..

I'm still looking forward to getting a tattoo this summer or maybe even another piercing but we'll see about it. There's just so much I want to do and so little time, but I'm going to make the most out of it all.

-Lim

DAY 6 - A STRANGER

I hope that when you see me that you don't quickly judge me. And that if we do meet one day, that you will give me the benefit of the doubt. I may not be the nicest, prettiest or funniest person that you meet. But I am a person who has a beating heart. Who has feelings just like everyone else.

I don't know you.. I might not ever meet you. But know that we're all stangers before we become friends.

-Lim

That girl;

I used to be that girl;
that wouldn't give no one a chance. Dodged guys in the hallway so they wouldn't tell me that they like me. "No, I don't like you. No, I won't give you a chance. No I won't think about it." That girl never played anyone, but she played with minds, and the feelings that they gained. She used a guy once as a rebound for the guy that she catched feelings for but still never gave it a chance.

Then I became that girl;
that was falling for someone. She kept the stuffed bear. Movie tickets, letters, his shirts, and cards. "I" became "we", becamse "us" all without losing me. So she learned to breathe deeper, hug tighter, kiss longer, and dream sweater. That girl smiled with her eyes, shined on cloudy days, and floated with no wings.

And then I became that girl;
that tried holding on after all the break ups he did. After all the times he "needed space". When he wanted time apart. When he needed an excuse. When he wanted to see other people and give out his number when it was asked. When he wanted to be selfish.. that WAS selfish. When he took her relationship for granted and told her that he wanted her to date other people. That left her with unspoken words.

So I thought I could become that girl;
that wouldn't give 2 fucks about it. That washed the pain away. That was hard as a rock when really she was a gem. That girl filled voids and threw away the big picture for momentary happiness and attention. That build up a wall between trust. Yup, I was the great pretender.

Until I became that girl;
who is finally allowing herself to live, love, and be happy. Who is still learning. Who refuses to settle for anything less than she deserves. Who is humble and know not to take anything for granted. That girl who still won't give anyone a chance unless she knows that he's worth her time.

And I never ever want to be that or that or that girl again.

-Lim

DAY 5 - YOUR DREAMS

I'm sorry for putting you on hold for reasons that we're stupid.. But I'm getting everything back on track. As of right now my dreams are not unattainable. I'm going to make it. I lost myself this past year, but now I know who I am and what I want.

I know that my dreams of making it big may seem naive to others but I will make it. I'm planning on having my dreams become a reality.

-Lim

melinh + cwell's sde // toronto

DAY 4 - YOUR SIBLING (OR CLOSEST RELATIVE)

My baby sister! I think it's lucky that we're only born 2 years a part and that we don't look alike! Everyone who don't already know us think that we're best friends. But that's exactly what a sister is. Of 'course we fight, and get annoyed with each other. But when we get bored we can instantly get entertained by hanging out with each other. We're complete opposites but still think the same on things.

I'm always going to be here for you as your big/little sister. Haha. Do you remember that?

-Lim

DAY 3 - YOUR PARENTS

Without the love and support from the both of you I would not be the person that I am today. I'm thankful to have parents that are super understanding. And through out this past year I've been selfish and a brat, but through the rough patches the both of you have always cared. I'm sorry for the pointless arguing and getting mad. I see how other people have it, and I'm lucky to have parents that are still together, in love. And fighting for OUR family.

You've both taught me to be a strong and independent person and that no matter to do what feels right for me. I love you, Mom and Dad.

-Lim

DAY 2 - YOUR CRUSH

You've been the sweetest boy that I've come across. I have more than a crush on you, and that makes me scared.. but this kind of scared is a good thing. But I don't want being scared to get in the way of what we have going right now.

I remember the first day that I met you, things just felt soo good. And I loved waking up next to you the next morning. It's been almost a month since than. It's so weird to think how fast time is going by. But I like knowing that I get to call you my boo, my boyfriend :)

-Lim

DAY 1 - YOUR BESTFRIEND.

Chanseda -You're my bestfriend because no matter what the circumstance you are always there for me. And never judge me for the things I do. Our friendship is hitting the 7 year mark, and I've yet to recall us having a fight to tear us a part. I'm always here for you too, and it's always hard for us to catch up since we're both busy.. but we're always going to have those days when we just spill everything to one other. I love you fag!

Ashley - I wouldn't have been able to survive the school days with out you. You're my bestfriend because I know that I can always go to you for anything and I'm there for you too. We've gone through so much together and a part but at the end of the day I know that our friendship will stay strong. I love you babygirl, and no matter what happens in the future I got your back like I know you got mine :)

-Lim

30 DAY "WRITE A LETTER" CHALLENGE

30 Day Challenge;
Day 1 - Your Best Friend.
Day 2 - Your Crush.
Day 3 - Your Parents.
Day 4 - Your sibling (or closest relative).
Day 5 - Your Dreams.
Day 6 - A Stranger.
Day 7 - Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush.
Day 8 - Your favorite internet friend.
Day 9 - Someone you wish you could meet.
Day 10 - Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to.
Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to..
Day 12 - The person you hate most/cause you a lot of pain.
Day 13 - Someone you wish could forgive you.
Day 14 - Someone you've drifted away from.
Day 15 - The person you miss the most.
Day 16 - Someone that's not in your state/country.
Day 17 - Someone from your childhood.
Day 18 - The person that you wish you could be.
Day 19 - Someone that pesters your mind-good or bad.
Day 20 - The one that broke your heart the hardest.
Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression.
Day 22 -Someone you wnt to give a second chance to.
Day 23 - The last person you kissed.
Day 24 - The person that gave you your favorite memory.
Day 25 - The person you know hat is going through the worst of times.
Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to.
Day 27 - Thee friendliest person you knew for only one day.
Day 28 - Someone that changed your life.
Day 29 - The person that you want to tell everything to but too afraid to.
Day 30 - Your reflection in the mirror.

IM GOING TO DO THIS!

-Lim

Graduation; June 19 2010 :)

WE'VE MADE IT CLASS OF 2010!

Tonight is the night when we walk across that stage,

turn our tassles to the left,

shed our last tears of high school,

and head onto the real world.

Stay Connected;

After this weekend I'm going to be thrown into the "real wold". And I'm so ready for it. I had graduation practice today, another one tomorrow, followed by jubilation tomorrow night. Than graduation on Saturday!

I feel as though these past few days have been going by really quick. It hasn't even hit me that I'm going to be out of high school. I'm barely even sad about it. I'm more relieved about it all. I've been over all the drama. And I'm glad not to see some people. If anyone wants to stay connected with me it's not that hard to pick up the phone.. the only thing that bugs me with the end of a school year is when people say, let's hang out.. and it doesn't happen.

Now that there is no more high school, we aren't going back. It's going to be interesting to see who will keep in touch.

-Lim

Half Of My Heart - John Mayer

Thanks to Ashley, I'm in love with this song.. just listen to it and you'll know why.

To The End;

It hasn't hit me yet, the fact that I'm done with high school. We picked up our gaps and gowns today. As of right now, it is hanging in my closet. The smile on my parents face was just amazing to know that they are so proud that I'm going to be walking this Saturday. I can't believe I had been riding that line of not being able to graduate on time.

All that matters now is that everything is slowly falling into place. And I'm loving every moment.

-Lim

Just 1 More Day;

... it'll be my last day of high school. On Saturday at 8 pm I will walk with my class to receive my diploma. 12 years of education will all be done tomorrow.. and onto the real world here I come. It's so bitter sweet but I'm so ready to be out. Yes, I'm going to miss a few people. But I've been over the tedious drama. I've been over it for awhile now. There are some things I wish I would've done but there's nothing I can do about it now.

I'm happy that I know where I'm going with my life.. even though I felt like I got lost along this last year of high school, it's just nice to know that I know where I'm going now.

To the class of 2010; good luck to everyone on their plans for the futures. To college, jobs, and finding what you wanna do. But always stay true to who you are. Remember that your family will always be there, relatioships will be broken and others will come together. But always keep in touch with each other and cherish the memories you've made along the way.

-Lim

"I gave away my heart awhile ago,

but it's about time I just keep it to myself..

until I feel whole than I can give it away."

-Lim

idk who all these dumb asses are, but coming fro a man's perspective, i'd say you look pretty damn good. i can't remember a sinlge day where i didn't think to myself, "wow, lisa looks hot today"

awh thank you! im pretty sure i have a specific hater out there.

Ask me anything

I can't seem to focus on studying for my finals. How am I supposed to focus when I'm just too anxious to be done. Once finals are over, I'm so over it all.

I'm moving on with everything in my life and not necessarily start over, but start things differently.

-Lim

i bet i could tell you who that beezy is. *cough*cough*cough* you're gorgeous lisa. inside and out.

oh hunny, there are just so many haters out there who post anonmyously just cause they're scared. no one has the guts to say those things to me in person.

but thanks! :)

Ask me anything

ur a bitch, who thinks shes better then everyone else and piles on stupid amounts of make up!!!! ewww. dont wear so much, it makes yu look gross. foreall.!

i'm flattered. i love you hater!

Ask me anything

wow people are such bitches on here sorry love. i dont really have a question lol

i love my haters! because people are too scared to show who they are. but that's ok. haha. i love youuu!

Ask me anything

"What am I doing?

Oh yeah,

that's right I'm doing me."

-Drake

you're not pretty. is that why you try so hard with your make up and clothes?

haha, oh yes i try soo hard. i like that you called my bluff. but i'd love to know your definition of pretty.

Ask me anything

Uhm no you continuely put on powder all day long..so I guess that's what you have to do when you don't have naturL beauty.

beauty is within the eyes of the beholder. yes, i have imperfections that i choose to fix. every so often, yes i do pull out my COMPACT. which is different from powder. i'd love to know who you are :)

Ask me anything

lisa is sexy :)

i think katie is super sexxxy! ;)

Ask me anything

Have you let anyone down lately?

actually no :) within these past few weeks i've been taking time to find who i am and along the way i've been able to let people around me know that they CAN depend on me.

Ask me anything

I have 2 days left. Next week I will be walking at my graduation, and that's it. I'm done. I've been so over high school and I'm so happy that it's over, but than again it's bitter sweet. I'm not exactly sure how to feel at this moment.

-Lim

When it's broken, don't try to fix it.

The best way to heal is give it time.

-Lim

I was in a bad mood afterschool today for reasons that are stupid and not necessary to blog about, so I thought since I needed to check my bank acount I might as well go to the atm in the mall and do some shopping.. I left the mall with a pair of jeans, leggings, and panties. Damage done in only a half an hour of being in there. But during that short amount of time of shopping, my bad mood was forgotten.

I feel like I get a strange high from shopping. Once I find something to cute to buy it's not that hard for me to swipe my card or hand over some cash. All I'm thinking of is what outfit I can put together and when am I going to wear it. If not, how long will it stay in closet before I take the tags off of it and wear it out.

At least with clothing and accessories you're able to change your look without the worry of any consequences. It's your style, your look. Either YOU'RE satisfied or not. That's something you have control over.

One day I'll get a handle of my extensive shopping habits but for now I like changing up my wardobe. It's something can choose to change without any pain that comes along with the reality of life.

-Lim

I'm more than just a pretty face,

I'm ready to prove people wrong.

-Lim

Senior ball was a night that I needed.

Upcoming;

I can't wait for this weekend to start. Why you may ask?

-I get paid tomorrow; planning to get everything final for senior ball.
-Getting my nails done with my girls :)
-Senior vs Staff basketball is Friday night! The boyfriend is coming to watch.
-Senior ball on Saturday! Going with an amazing group. It's going to be a good night overall. Expect tons of pictures.

I'm just feeling soo content with how everything is going. I can be smiling for days and nothing is going to bring me down.

-Lim

"Do you wonder how long it takes to change your life? What measure of time is enough to be life altering? Is it for yours, like high school? Or one year gone on a rock tour? Can your life change in a month or a week or a day? We're always in a hurry to grow up, to go places, to get ahead, but when you're young, one hour can change everything."

-One Tree Hill

Oh, the beauty within;

Everyone is beautiful in their own ways. And people choose to express their own in sights of beauty differently. In today's society we tend to move towards the high fashion and glam. I must say that I am guilty to this. I'm defiantly the kind of girl who moves towards looking at her best all the time and having the best. It's been the way that I've been raised and it's taught me to never settle for anything less than what I can have and who I can be.

I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing..

I've always looked in the mirror and pick out my imperfections and I guess "correcting" them. Ask me anything about how to do your make up from foundation, eyeshadow, to hair and I'm 100% sure I can answer any of it. I believe that make up is an art. Your face is the canvas. It's a self expression.

You may think that I'm just a girl who's self-absorbed in herself, when really it's an art. I can't help the way I look.. when I try hard to look the way I do. It's an image I've molded and am maintaining. Sad to say, but I know I wouldn't be where I am at today if it wasn't for the way I look. I guess I'm ok with that.

-Lim

Unthinkable - Alicia Keys

It couldn't get any better.

I'm in love. I'm in love with how my life is going and I'm just feeling so satisfied and I just wonder how else could things get better? Surprisingly it does getting better day by day. I've been slowly learning how to pick myself back up and I have. Everything seems to falling back into place, I wouldn't say it's perfect, but it's getting close.

I'm getting my smile back, my confidence back, and my self-esteem. I've learned who my true friends are. My family is my true support system. And that when it comes to my heart, that I need to follow it.. even if it means being broken. But being broken can be a good thing. I'm opening my heart to someone who treats me soo good.

I don't know if I'm ever going to get things right the first time, but that's not me. I always need to learn things for myself. And if it's a mistake, than I'll take the lesson with me and move forward. There's no point in dwelling. Why not just be happy?

-Lim

I'm finally doing things that make ME happy.

Something I should have been doing a loong ass time ago.

-Lim

Satisfied!

These past few days I've been super happy. And why you make ask;

-I'm all set for graduation! Thank goodness for passing the math hspe.
-Senior ball is next weekend, and I have a great group to go with. Not to mention cutest dress, shoes and accessories to go with it!
-My parents have been such a great support system. Been planning our summer vacation plans. Which is something we haven't done in awhile.
-I have the BEST of friends any girl can have.
-My boyfriend is the most sweetest boy, everrr <3
-I'm all set for going to edcc for the fall :)
-Tryn find a 2nd job has been going good.
-& deciding on my plans for moving in the fall!

My plans are going so good, and nothing, I really mean NOTHING is going to stop me. I've always been a fighter. That won't change. As of right now I'm being pushed to my limits, but I don't mind proving people wrong. Go ahead and try me.

-Lim

You told me that we're not playing games..

and as scary as it may be

I'm taking your word for it.

-Lim

I love my MOM & DAD;

When it comes down to wire I must say that my parents mean everything to me. Even though we've gone through our rough patches, at the end I need to always remember that they love me and only want the best. I've felt really bad about the last few months and know I shouldn't have treated them the way I did.. but that's the thing with parents. They always forgive you.. even if they don't say it.

I'm just thankful for having parents who are understanding and just putting up with me being a brat.

-Lim

I'm the girl

that would eat at Mcdonalds rather than a fancy restaurant with a boy,
but a nice place to eat once in awhile would be fine with me.
I'd rather spend my night sleeping with him rather than sleeping on the phone,
and I wouldn't care if he sees me without my makeup in the morning.
I'd rather wear my pajamas to hang out with him at home rather than getting all dolled up,
but I will dress up when we go out
because if I were a boy
I wouldn't want to go out to many places with someone looking like a bum.
I wouldn't hang on to him in front of his boys,
but its a different story when he holds on to me in front of his boys.
I wouldn't sit around waiting for this calls or texts,
I would text first and if he doesn't answer to my text/call

then I wouldn't blast up his phone.
I'm the girl who doesn't mind playing the game,
but would prefer not to.

-Lim

I'm scared to let people in, but I'm still doing it.

-Lim

My advice;

You know how people say, "I wish I would've known what I know back then.."

If you knew, than you wouldn't have been able to learn your lesson. To grow and be who you are today. As high school is ending I really do wish I could turn back the time, but I can't. I don't want to say my time was wasted, but I felt like I could've done so much more. Even though I feel this way, I'm still taking what I can and doing what I gotta do.

Don't ever rely one anyone else to get what you want or think that someone is always going to be there for you because in the end the only person you can truly rely on is yourself.

I guess I'm back at square one, my trust issues are at an all time high now.. but if you were in my position wouldn't yours be too?

I gave my heart away a year ago to someone that I had foolishly thought was the one for me. But I had to be so naive to think that. It's weird to think that someone you would say I love you to almost every single day for over a year can turn a complete 180 and say hurtful things to you. Who knows your weaknesses and uses them to break you at each possible vulnerable chance they get.

I'm not giving him the satisfaction. Nothing he says is ever going to break me because I know I'm worth so much more and am finding someone who treats me like a princess.

My point of this blog is mostly to the girls out there;

be with someone who loves to see you smile, who will wipe your tears away when you're sad, will listen to your problems and even though he can't help just be a support, a guy that your parents approve of, someone that can be your friend first..

Just don't rush..

My heart aches for those girls who are in the same position I was in.. just be smart with your decisions. And just always remember to put yourself first.

-Lim

Insomia @ it's worst;

My sleeping habits have been so off lately. I've been trying to go to get at a reasonable time, but it never seems to happen. My mind is always just racing and I can't seem to turn it off when I want to. The times when I need to be focusing, I'm just thinking about sleeping.. this is not good.

I need to re-adjust. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to do this. I'm thinking my lack of sleep is because I've been stressing over things when I shouldn't be. I need to just enjoy these last few days of high school and know that the future is holding something great.

-Lim

I adore Seattle, someone take me awayy please.

My rideeee ;)

been driving for 10 months,..

sorry for the dents but Imma get my baby all fixed up

When I looked you in the eyes. All I can feel is numbness in my heart. I don't love you anymore, I don't miss you. I don't long to be in your arms anymore. You're no longer that boy I fell in love with and my heart has finally let it all go. It was too broken to fix and now it's just time to pick up the pieces.

I just wish things would've been different. But there's no use in hoping anymore. I've reached an epiphany.. and it feels good. I won't regret, I won't dwell. I'm just going keep doing me.

-Lim

"And once you lose yourself, you have 2 choices: Find the person you used to be. Or lose that person completely."

-Brooke; One Tree Hill.

I'm not loosing my smile;

lately I've been just feeling so content and things are just turning around. It might be that now spring/summer is arriving. Or that I'm about to be out of high school, going onto college and just getting MY life together. Right now, I'm more considered with myself, family, and my true friends. I don't need any stupid drama in my life. I just need to stay focus on ME.

I'm going to stay happy and there's absolutely nothing that is going to bring me down.

-Lim

I wanna be with a guy who I'm not scared for my parents to meet.

-Lim

I have the best girls and homeboys a girl could ask for!

-Lim

The greatest realization;

I love surrounding myself with positive people, and so far I know who those people are! It feels good to know that there are still people out there who have great intentions. I'm over the drama and heart ache. All I need is some good time fun. And graduation + summer couldn't have come at such a better time in my life.

I'm really figuring who I am and what I wanna do. I lost myself for a moment but I'm BACK and I'm loving every minute of it ;)

-Lim

Never going to play the game again..

-Lim

I don't know why it's getting harder for me to hold things in. It used to be so easy and I find myself just at my breaking point. I'm just feeling frustrated, over-whelmed, and just embarrassed.. and it shows. I'm not even trying to hide it anymore. The more I try the harder it gets.

-Lim

I fell in love, and now I'm picking myself back up.

-Lim

Morning sunshine,

I love waking up the sun shining into my room, but I hate waking up from a bad dream.. I'm trying to be optimistic as optimistic as I can be, but I'm just scared to be. Sometimes I feel like when my hopes are up, something happens and I'm let down. I'm not tryna let fear hold me back from doing anything. But for some reason it is right now.

I'm trying to just shake this all off as much as I can. No more holding back. I'm putting it all out on the table. You can take me as I am, of step off. I'm not here to please anyone but myself. Yeah, I've mad plenty of mistakes. But if I didn't, I wouldn't be who I am today.

If it hasn't killed me by now, than I'm on the right path.

-Lim

you owe me a piggyback ride, will you get strong enough to carry me?

i am strong enough!

Ask me anything

why do you complain so much on facebook?

it's not complaining, it's venting.

Ask me anything

I can't wait to just move on, have my heart heal and find someone who can man up and is actually the person that I think they are. I've spent way too much time on this break up, crying for no reason!.. I just need to start being that happy person that everyone knows. That person I know I can be.

-Lim

ever slapped a ho?

No, but there are a few that need to be slapped!

Ask me anything

Happy Mother's Day

I love you mom, for always being that rock when I needed you to be there with me.

Don't want to hear it anymore,

you can go do your thing, but I don't want to hear about it anymore. I just feel like my heart is in the pit of my stomach. I don't need that.

-Lim

"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now.."

"If he's dumb enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go."

I'm going to let go of all of these.. the past it the past right?.. I guess that's where it'll stand as.

"My last love was my first true love."

-Lim