That girl;

I used to be that girl;
that wouldn't give no one a chance. Dodged guys in the hallway so they wouldn't tell me that they like me. "No, I don't like you. No, I won't give you a chance. No I won't think about it." That girl never played anyone, but she played with minds, and the feelings that they gained. She used a guy once as a rebound for the guy that she catched feelings for but still never gave it a chance.

Then I became that girl;
that was falling for someone. She kept the stuffed bear. Movie tickets, letters, his shirts, and cards. "I" became "we", becamse "us" all without losing me. So she learned to breathe deeper, hug tighter, kiss longer, and dream sweater. That girl smiled with her eyes, shined on cloudy days, and floated with no wings.

And then I became that girl;
that tried holding on after all the break ups he did. After all the times he "needed space". When he wanted time apart. When he needed an excuse. When he wanted to see other people and give out his number when it was asked. When he wanted to be selfish.. that WAS selfish. When he took her relationship for granted and told her that he wanted her to date other people. That left her with unspoken words.

So I thought I could become that girl;
that wouldn't give 2 fucks about it. That washed the pain away. That was hard as a rock when really she was a gem. That girl filled voids and threw away the big picture for momentary happiness and attention. That build up a wall between trust. Yup, I was the great pretender.

Until I became that girl;
who is finally allowing herself to live, love, and be happy. Who is still learning. Who refuses to settle for anything less than she deserves. Who is humble and know not to take anything for granted. That girl who still won't give anyone a chance unless she knows that he's worth her time.

And I never ever want to be that or that or that girl again.

-Lim